Homework Karma
An exposition on the benefits of diagramming sentences
I got a cold in the 3rd grade and failed the English portion of the standard exam. They put me into the special education remedial English class. This was odd, since I had already qualified for advanced placement in my other subjects. The shear boredom of sitting through these remedial classes quickly had me ignoring my surroundings and reading novels. The result was that I continued to fail English throughout grade school.
One thing that these classes focused was diagramming sentences. After we covered what a noun and a verb was, we got to diagram Dick and Jane stories. I would complain each time, "Of what possible use could diagramming sentences be to me in the working world?" The teacher would always struggle and come up with a patronizing contrived answer. I think around 6th grade I tried to get replaced in an advanced class. I did all the sentences, and everything requested. The teacher didn't like me and I got placed back where I was in 7th grade. After that, I gave up.
I diagrammed sentences all the way up to 12th grade, then I got Mr. Suits. He was handing out reading assignments and I watched as he handed out books and they were simple 3rd and 4th grade readers, sweat-hog english would be a breeze. Then he handed me Fyodor Dostoevsky's, The Brothers Karamazov. I looked at him blankly and he said "I'm on to you. I expect a full term paper." Ouch. Days of diagramming were over, and I didn't like the alternative.
Well years later I got into Tulane University and signed up for Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. I took the required English credit at the local community college and transfered it, because Tulane required things like writing papers which I had only done twice. I didn't have any money and I was squeaking by on scholarships.
An upperclassman told me that if I wanted to get some good money I needed to go down to the library and research all the professors in my department; explicitly research what grants they had received. Find the most cash flush professor and sign up for all his classes and express a deep heart felt interest for his research. So I did.
I landed a research position (for more than the graduate students were making), and it was in computer language research. The first meeting with the professor he described the problem with translating requirements into code and some ideas he had for solving these problems. What he needed me to do was to take this stack of requirements and diagram all the sentences!
So here I was, diagramming sentences for $15/hour thinking about all those poor teachers I had demanded explanation about how diagramming sentences would ever help me. Today after a few compiler classes and learning BNF, diagramming sentences was a wonderful skill to learn.
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